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freewilledangels:

wlntersoldier:

don’t date anyone who doesn’t think hawkeye is a valuable member of the avengers

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lzbth:

swag won’t pay the bills but apparently neither will your degree

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coffeeandfaith:

Just because I find you attractive doesnt mean I like you. You appeal to my eyes, not my heart or mind. It’s not that deep.

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  • guinness world records man:sir you have done nothing but do pushups from this one spot for 20 years with no rest. what drives you?
  • me, still doing pushups:i wanna push this planet out of the idiot solar system and into the horrifying abyss of the unknown universe and this is the only way I know how
  • world records man, in awe:[drops everything and instantly begins doing pushups next to me]
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kingcheddarxvii:

Had a dream just now that Macklemore was named TIME magazine’s Most Muggable Musician and he showed up at an interview to accept the award and they mugged him

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